What????? This is ridicules! Absolutely ridicules! Slow-worm?…… How dare you call me a slow-worm? I’ll have you know I can move very fast when necessary! And a worm? I have never wormed my way into anything!
I’m very proud to be in the honored Class of Reptilia. Furthermore, I’m a member of the very regal Order of Squamata. Furthermore…. My family is part of the very important Anguidae line with my genus and species being Anguis fragilis. Therefore, I am a lizard! Okay…. I might be a legless lizard but still a lizard nevertheless.
I should point out my Phylum (Chordata), Class (Reptilia), Order (Squamata), and Family (Anguidae) are the same as the North American glass lizards of the genus and species Ophisaurus attenuates and Ophisaurus ventralis, of which you are probably familiar with.
Ah….. I have your attention. So…. Now you’re curious and want to know more about me. All right, it will be my pleasure, sit down on those nice flat, warm rocks over there…. Some of you might need to place a sweater or jacket down first.
Where to start? Well, first of all, our average length of 30-40 cm (12-16 inches), placing us in the middle range where lizard size is concerned. However, I once read about a fine female holding the record at 52 cm (20.5 inches). Sadly, I never had the pleasure of meeting her.
I know what you are thinking. Though, I might look snake-like, I assure you…. I am not a snake. As do other lizards, I have eyelids that close and external ear openings, which snakes do not have. Inside our bodies we have rudimentary shoulder and hip foundations, which are proof our ancestors once walked on four legs. Also, snakes have flexible jaws, while lizards do not. Another difference between our species and snakes….. Snakes have forked tongues, now see…. When I open my mouth, my flickering tongue is only slightly notched.
Take a look at my skin, it’s smooth with small round scales, which do not overlap, making burrowing much easier. However, to my regret, I have few markings and nothing fancy such as the Monitor or Mexican beaded lizard. Which can be upsetting….. Why? Don’t you enjoy dressing-up and showing off your finery. Well…..?
See, if you look closely, my back and flanks are almost the same colour. However, we do have different shades such as light or dark brown, gray, chestnut, bronze or brick red. One variety actually sports a nice copper colour and our underparts usually contain dark spots of black or dark gray.
Yes young man, you are correct. Females are slightly different. They will have a thin dark line down the centre of their back and on the upper potion of their flanks, with their underside usually black.
What’s that? You think my head looks strange? Well…. It is rather smallish and short. I guess with my body being broader than my head it does look peculiar. However, since I am a male, my head is longer than those of the females.
Oh, I mustn’t forget the blue-spotted slow-worm, ummm, how I hate that word. Anyways, they can be found in Europe and Southern England. I must admit they are beautiful with their colouring varying from light-blue to deep ultramarine. This colouration may be just spots or very often stripes, which when close together gives them a solid blue tone. Unfortunately, only males carry these blue markings.
Now young lady that is an excellent question. What do we eat? This is very, very important. We prefer slow-moving invertebrates, including slugs, earthworms, and snails. Since we help to protect plants from the destruction which slugs, etc are known for, I’m delighted and proud to say our culinary tastes lead to a warm welcome from gardeners.
Our personal life? Yes, I’ll share a bit with you. Generally, we begin searching for suitable mates in April right through to August. Anywhere from four to twenty-two beautiful youngsters will appear after a gestation period of ninety to one hundred days. Like many lizards, especially in cool climates, our females are ovoviviparous. Wow…. That was a big word! It means our eggs are retained by the female, in thin membrane envelopes, within the uterus until hatching time.
Generally, our young who are usually born in August or September, however, depending on regional climate it can be as late as November, are just 7.5-9 cm (3-3.5 inches), all having a black strip along the back and a black underside. Though, when born they do not have the coloring of their parents, we are very proud of our children. Right from the moment of birth they are active and able to care for themselves. Capable of catching various insects our youngsters, like ourselves, do prefer small slugs.
Of course, perhaps I should have mentioned this first. Where can we be found? Well, let’s see. We cover a wide range throughout Europe, even Britain, Scotland, and Spain. Our populations extends eastward to the Caucasus and even European Russia. Oh! In Sweden, we extend as far as latitude sixty-five degrees north.
Our life-span averages ten to thirty years and dwell in a variety of habitats. I must stress and repeat….. We are completely harmless and since we feed largely on slugs, which destroy green vegetables, we are therefore very, very beneficial to humans and easily co-exist. My species enjoy open woodland and scrub, even cliffs by the sea and mountains. In heavily populated cities we can be found in hedgerows, orchards, and small gardens. We love wasteland and in England many of my relatives enjoy the peace and tranquillity of churchyards. However, we stay away from areas used for grazing or farming, also we avoid dense woodland.
So far slow-worms have managed to avoid the sad misfortune of many other species, and we remain fairly common. However, in some places our numbers are declining. Such as in the United Kingdom and in other countries where we are now listed as protected. Since we have a long list of predators, such as adders, frogs, birds of prey, foxes, etc, even though abundant we do take precautions. Meaning we are rarely seen, maintaining a secretive existence, most of the time hiding in leaf litter or in the soil. Can’t be too careful these days. Since our favourite meals of earthworms and tiny gray slugs mostly show themselves at dawn and dusk, these are the times when we are most active.
However, I’ll tell you a little secret. Sometimes during the day we do venture out, but only when the sun is shining. However, I should mention we do like humidity, Such as after a rain when the sun shines but we don’t enjoy wet, rainy days, something we have in common with humans. You see, we are ectothermic (cold-blooded), which means we cannot generate our own internal heat. We must relay on external forces, such as the sun or warm rocks to control our body temperature. Also, the warmth from the spring sun speeds up the development of the reproductive system and females use the summer sun to help the growth of the embryos. By warming up we have the energy to slither away very fast when danger threatens. Please note….. I said very fast. During the winter we hibernate underground or among tree roots.
Concealing ourselves between two flat, thin stones remains one of our favourite warming methods. On sunny days these stones heat up right down to their undersides. Even when the sun isn’t shinning some of the heat from the past day will remain, of course depending on the temperature. This way we can warm up without exposing ourselves to danger. We have also discovered some types of trash, such as corrugated iron sheeting, can be most effective.
However, the other day I received an awful scare. Here I was hanging out with several of my buddies under some sheeting, when suddenly, a group of scientists picked up the sheet to count us. Of all things….. They had discovered the trick of placing flat pieces of metal on the ground to attract us. Can you imagine that…. Of all the nerve, disturbing a peaceful afternoon of warming up. What is this world coming to?
Well, I see the sun is slowly setting and at the far end of this garden there are nice, juicy slugs starting to appear. So I’ll say goodbye, but a small warning as I slip away. Please do not touch my tail. Like most small lizards when grabbed by a predator our tail muscles contract, allowing the tail to drop off. We have what you call special breaking points constructed in our tails just for this purpose. Actually, this is our major defence since the tail-end will thrash about distracting our enemy, allowing escape. The muscles at the end of our bodies collapse, preventing blood loss, and a new tail will grow. It is due to this easy braking of our tails that we have come by our scientific species name of ‘fragilis’.
If you’re wondering does the tail always fall completely off… The answer is no. Should part of the tail remain with the blood vessels intact, then we could end up with a bifurcated tail. A new tail grows from the open wound, giving us two tails in the form of a ‘V’, with the bottom tip firmly attached to our bodies.
The time!!! My apologies but I must leave. However, should you wish to join me for my evening meal, there are more than enough slugs for everyone. Oh, too bad, I see none of you are interested in accepting the invitation, perhaps next time. Then goodbye, I have enjoyed our afternoon together. It is not often I have the opportunity to inform others about our species. When you go please watch your footing, some of the smaller stones might be loose and there could be tree roots hiding on the ground.
Oh, one last comment before disappearing…. Slow-worm!…. Bah! Humbug!!!!!!!
